Nitya Misra

In January, I read my horoscope for the year
It said that I’d meet my soulmate 
On June the 10th. I marked my calendar,
Feeling reassured that the stars care
About who’s falling in love, and where. 

It said that he would be close by;
That he’d be nice, with a side of spice
It suggested I try positive manifestation -
Accept things, even if it feels too good to be true
To myself: I’ll meet him, I’ll meet him,
I’ll meet him on the tenth of June. 

Well, today is June the 11th. It’s 2021
We’ve been locked down for about two months 
Slim chances of meeting that special person 
Thought I’d help fate present me The One
So last night around nine o’clock, 
I combed my hair, and went for a walk. 

I’m sad to report that he didn’t appear 
I didn’t think he would, but it was worth a shot
Now, did the horoscope mean to say
That every Scorpio who’s seeking love 
Was to find their match yesterday? 
There must be billions of us - intense, secretive, cautious
(At least according to horoscope.com) 
Can’t have everyone falling in love, all at once!

As I was casually strolling downstairs, 
With muted hopes of a brief encounter, 
A friend called, through the 4G airwaves
We chatted, the usual banter
(While walking alone she likes to phone
So as not to walk alone) 
Then sans Darcy, 
I walked home. 

I have a friend who sends me good morning texts
“Have a great day, hope it’s the best!”
And a friend who goes along with “This Or That?”, 
In passing time artfully -  a true comrade
Every morning, a close friend 
Wakes me up at 5:30 AM, 
So that I can be an early riser
(And so feel morally superior) 
When I see something that warms my heart -
Like an elderly couple on their early morning walk, 
The man stopping, ever so often, so his wife can catch up -
I’ll tell a friend who I think might tear up
An audio clip of a strange-sounding bird
Will intrigue that friend
Who loves the weird and absurd
I get daily updates about one’s friend's life 
I know all her colleagues, 
Alphabetically categorised.

Some friends I don’t speak to so frequently, 
But we text or email or send each other memes
There’s much fondness, and a corner that’s soft 
When we meet, we’ll pick up where we left off
There are friends from work, 
Whom I used to be wary of
We took some time to get along

And there are friends of friends 
Who just become your friends 
And family, who are also friends, 
They know you too well. 

Some of my friends are friends with each other 
Overlapping on various WhatsApp circuits
Each duo and trio with their own dynamics. 

Different people hold different parts of you
And in turn, you hold them too. 
Like a giant jigsaw puzzle set 
The pieces fit snugly in
And all those pieces, 
Given and received - 
High margin securities. 

On the 10th, I didn’t meet the love of my life
Horoscopes can be deceitful lies
Didn’t bump into him in the elevator, 
Nor at a park, at work, at a dental clinic
He wasn’t the upstairs neighbour 
Whose balcony overlooks my kitchen sink

But I thought about 
Friendship, that lacks sweeping gestures 
Or suspense or heartbreak, for that matter
Regular friendship,
With a lot of “I”ll call you back later”s 
Ordinary friendship, which is deep understanding 
And acceptance of this - 
We’re all made of different parts, 
With unique nuts and bolts and warts 
And varied hereditary health concerns. 

It’s not that I think soulmates don’t exist. 
I know they do
But it’s not one person, it’s one each, 
for the many layers of your being.